for the first time in my life i actually had to go into court to serve jury duty. i was sort of looking forward to experiencing the process. when i got sent to a court room yesterday and had to go back today; and then when they dismissed a group of jurors this morning, i thought for sure i’d be kept on the jury. but to my surprise (and disappointment) i was later excused by the district attorney.
i really wonder why i was excused. not that i’ll ever get an answer, but i do wonder
in the sixth quarter of the MPA program and this is the most difficult quarter yet. i’m not doing as well as i’d like and i’m going to have to make some modifications if i’m going to turn my situation around
life that is… sometimes it really does stink. right now, and for most of the summer, life has turned into a blah-fest. i’m not unhappy, per se, it just seems like there’s been so much turmoil over the last several months and it is taking its toll on me.
my sleep patterns are a mess, to me anyway. it’s tough getting to sleep and then i still make myself get up early to be at work by or before 7am. i haven’t been dancing as much as i’d hoped, and now that school started again, i’ve completely lost dancing on mondays.
the situation with my mom is really stressful, really, really stressful. it’s not just her either, it’s my dad. he drives me absolutely nuts; i can go from being cool and calm to being completely pissed in seconds when in his presence. mom really doesn’t handle stress very well at all (we’ve known this) but now, it’s even more noticeable. most things are overwhelming to her.
having my best friend sick too just really sucks.
some days the combination of them, and everything else going on with school and work, my family, and my car seems overwhelming.
i know things won’t always be like this… it just seems like i’ve been in a funk for months. nothing really excites me these days.
Why are relationships so challenging? I ask this as I observe several around me in turmoil.
For me, it seems obvious… they simply won’t work if BOTH people aren’t invested and willing to do the work. But so often, it seems there’s an unequal amount of investment from the parties involved and this leads to confusion, hurt feelings, loneliness, and disillusionment, among many other emotions.
Are we destined to be in pain, if paired-up? Or choose a life of singlehood in an attempt to avoid the pain, only to find pain in that very state.